I’m sitting here, munching on a granola bar, taking a break from studying, and my brain starts to wander off to think about school. I’m already reviewing my past course materials because: a) I did not do well in the pre-req course, b) I found this course difficult so I dropped it and c) I had a terrible prof that I couldn't learn from.
The more I worry about not doing well or failing this course again, the more I’m pushing myself to work harder, study harder, and not think about failing. Just focus on doing well. Then a thought crossed my mind: I wasn’t afraid of failing, I was afraid of not getting the A's or B's I wanted. And because I thought about that, I decided to drop it because I couldn’t do well. I thought that if I couldn't do great, I might as well not even try to do okay, because I only wanted great.
What I should be thinking about is focusing on doing better, no matter what that better is. Even though I haven’t gotten the best grades the past couple years, I tried. Maybe despite all my efforts, I still won't get that A+ or A- I always want.
But if I put in my efforts and try, there's no reason to be upset with myself. Most importantly, I'd like to remind myself: what happened when I tried? I DIDN’T FAIL. I passed; some barely, some better, but none the less, I didn’t fail. I shouldn’t be worrying about failing or not doing well, I should only be focusing on doing my best, and improving to be better than I was before.
This goes the same with my fitness and health change. I can’t focus on failing and not going to the gym and not being able to do more reps or heavier sets. I have to focus on how far I’ve come, where I need to improve, and do more to improve.
Glad I noticed that the way I’ve been thinking has been impeding me on being a better me. Now I will really focus on my way of thinking to change my perspective on school :)
Thanks for reading <3
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