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Sunday, January 18, 2015

Why I'm Struggling To Build My Own Dreams


Aloha readers
Today's post is a little more personal than educational.
I've had quite the unproductive weekend, and it has really got me thinking about why I've been struggling to commit, dedicate, and persevere the past few months. And much of that is due to be quitting early on in the game.
I told myself that I would be working even harder this semester, that I would be working hard to do research and bring good content to my blog - and thus far, I've been trying to juggle both but not really exceeding on either aspects. And don't even get me started on my fitness routines. 

Let's just say that because I'm quite easily influenced by my surroundings, I feel the need to really find something inside of me that can keep me grounded, and not be as easily distracted by my surroundings. Too many people zipping by at the gym? Affects my concentration and makes me less pumped to workout. Too many things on my desk and diverting my attention? Don't feel like studying and usually end up getting distracted. 

I was talking to my boyfriend earlier tonight about how miserable I felt about my body - I told him how I felt that laziness, negativity, and self-pity has taken over my life. Sure, I somehow manage to find the motivation to start up again, but too often I give up too early in the battle. Start my new nutrition plan today, cheat day by tomorrow. Schedule out my studying for the day, get distracted by online websites. Plan out my workouts for the next week, let other things take over this priority and push it to the side. 

And quite frankly, I'm very tired of that. They say that if you're tired of trying again, then stop quitting. And that is what I intend to do. 
(http://www.pinterest.com/pin/74098356344634708/)

 Another kink I've noticed in my habits is that I try to do so much all at once, trying to change too many things at the same time. As a result, I get overwhelmed and either give up on something or everything. What I've failed to realize in my persona life is that change takes time. It takes time to build habits. I didn't get lazy over night, so re-building a good work ethics, positive attitude, and motivation isn't going to happen over night either. I read an article on NerdFitness tonight about the building of things, and quite a few points in the article stuck with me. One is a quote that was embedded. 
"Get obsessed with consistency in the actions that feed the goal. Getting obsessed with the goal won't work and neither does having moderate goals. It's like thinking about laying down the perfect brick after perfect brick rather than going nuts over when you'll see a building emerge."
-Amir Siddiqui
Another was text that was written by the blog founder, Steve 
"Wow that looks amazing, and it look like it took a crazy amount of work...there's no way I could possibly do that." But that's not how great things are built. Great things are built one brick at a time.

By reading this article, I have realized that I keep falling down because I am trying to take on too much all at once, and I'm failing to really see and enjoy the brick laying process because I'm distracted by "trying to see the building emerge". I'm so focused on the end picture that I have failed to learn, love, and enjoy the process. So from today on, I'm going to have ask myself what I think is most important; then, prioritize it, stick to the plan, and start laying down those bricks - one at a time. 

If you're still with me, and you're interested in knowing how I'm going to do it ... 

1. School - In terms of focusing on the present, I just need to find a way that helps keep me grounded and focused, and channel that energy into staying on top of my studies. In the long term, I'm going to have to put aside some time next weekend to plan out the rest of my degree. That's the building emerging. I don't want to get too distracted by it, but I need to have the blueprint of what it will look like. 

2. My body and my health - I need to stop being lazy, and start building a new habit - a new routine. I know that getting myself to the gym every day is not realistic, so I don't plan on doing that. I've used this opportunity to join my fellow friend/coach Michael Morell's MoreFitChallenge. It's a 90 day challenge, where you follow a workout plan and nutrition plan of your choice, and try your darn hardest to build lean muscle while shedding body fat - which is what I am trying to do. Yes, there's a lot of money and prizes involved, but that is not why I'm joining. It's to build a new habit. Having this deadline will hopefully keep me motivated to build this habit, one brick at a time. 

3. My lovely blog - Over the past few years, my life has gone from getting a degree and getting a good paying job to finding something that I really like and am passionate about, that I want to learn more about, so I can do more, to help more people. This blog means a lot to me. It started off as a simple blog - and it still is - that recorded my own journey to health and fitness, but now it has grown to something more. Now, I'm not only building this into what hopefully will be a business in a few years, but a platform for me to reach out to more and more people. 
Today, you might be the only person reading this - ever, and I can choose to let that upset me, or let that encourage me to keep writing and blogging - because I've reached out to one more person that I would have if I ended this blog. So, thank you.
If I'm going to be realistic, with trying to rebuild my fitness habit and trying to focus on school, I don't see the original plan I had made for my blog as realistic. But I had made myself a promise in 2014 that 2015 would be better for my blog, and I intend to keep that promise, by building it one brick at a time. Ideally I'd like to post every day to keep the cyber traffic flowing, but that is too much for me. I'll aim to post a couple times each week with workout posts, and one detailed, educational post on top of that.

If you're looking for a take home message from this post, it's that: There are things I want to do and accomplish in life. But I feel like I'm stuck in a constant loop that I can't get out of. But that's going to start changing. Because I have a damn dream to build. 

(http://graphyquotes.com/2014/02/16/build-dreams/)

Thank you for sticking with me so far. 
Things are going to get better from here :) 
Stay with me, and I'll prove it to you. 

Cheers
xoxo

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